Lost opportunity

For some folks, having their picture taken is akin to getting a root canal.

But, what if you opened up your mind to see it in another light?

As a former dodger of any camera pointed in my direction for almost 3 decades, I get the distaste that many have for being involved in a lifestyle portrait session. 

I hated how I looked, and simply didn’t want to depress myself further from being reminded about it in photos. 

But over time, I’ve reversed my stance for a very specific reason. 

One day a couple years ago, I grabbed the family photos from my parents house and brought them to my apartment for safekeeping while remodeling was happening in the basement. 

There were photos that captured the family over many decades, so there were tons of photos of my parents, my brother and me. 

Lots and lots of photos of me as a youngster.

But, as the years wore on, I noticed that there were less and less of me showing up in the shots. 

Now, in the same storage container where the family photos live also houses the shoeboxes full of photos I took in high school, college and grad school. 

And, when I skimmed through those shots, I noticed that 99% of these photos were taken by me, so I’m not really in the photos. 

I systematically X’ed myself out of my own time capsule.

At the time the pictures were snapped, I was more than happy to accept this as my reality.

In hindsight, I’m actually pretty bummed out and regretful of what I did. (I’m also bummed out about the fact that I carried those self-defeating feelings in the first place, but that’s another story altogether).

Even though I wasn’t happy with how I looked, I wished I would’ve just gotten in front of the damn camera to capture who I was at the time so that in moments of reflection of nostalgia, I had something to look back at to jog my memory of that time, place, activity and with whom I shared it.

But sadly, many of those memories are now gone forever. That’s the bed I made, and ultimately, it is what it is.

I share my story with you as a reminder to those who do your best to avoid cameras, whether it’s for professional and personal reasons, that at some point in your life, you’re going to want photos to anchor a moment of reflection on your life, whether you’re alone or sharing with family and friends. 

If you have little to no images to help with this story time, you’re solely relying on your memory, which gets faulty and can’t always be trusted.

That means some of the most important, poignant, inspiring, and badass moments in your life run the risk of fading away forever. 

And that would be a damn shame in the same way that my late-teens to early 30’s are just represented by memories whose vidiness is pretty washed out by this point already. 

As a result, I’d like to share a mindset shift on how to approach your apprehension to be in front of a professional or personal lens:

Rather than seeing the camera as the enemy, see it as a magical opportunity to capture a beautiful expression of where you exactly are with your life in that moment - for better, worse or otherwise. 

Even though you might not be psyched about how you come across in the picture, you at least have that moment in time to reflect on, years later, and can either talk about how you confronted those demons and slayed them over time…

…or, you can still bitch and moan about them - but at least laugh about it at this point!

The key is that you at least have something to look at that captures you living life in a time that has since past.

Otherwise, you’ll end up kicking yourself for the lost moments like I am.