What photographing dating profile photos taught me
Sometimes, the greatest lessons that shape your expertise comes from the oddest places.
For me, one of mine came from shooting dating profile pictures.
Before I made the choice to focus my work on Expert-business owners, I was chasing checks.
When I wasn’t working the coming-of-age, party circuit - Quinceaneras, Sweet 16’s, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, and the like - I also spent a short time freelancing for an agency that helped clients create better dating profiles.
It was an interesting experience, to say the least.
Not because the people were off-the-wall or anything - I actually met a lot of really cool folks.
It was interesting because there was a set-in-stone, formulaic template that I had to follow for every session:
Locations
Composition
Outfit suggestions
Facial expressions
But, the biggest one of which I had to be most mindful? Posing the subject guidelines.
I remember having a post-mortem after my first session with the company owner. She made a point to tell me that I went off-script, and, as a result, re-sent me the posing guidelines so that I stick to it for the next client.
At the time, I was hungry and very green behind the camera - and I needed the money - so, I did my best to stick to the template.
If this is what I need to do, then it’s what I’m going to do.
But, in the back of my mind, I felt that posing the subject in front of the camera in the manner that was suggested by the guidelines looked awkward and weird - not just for me, but for them, as well.
And since these images are for dating purposes, isn’t that the wrong way to approach this?
Nevertheless, I did what I was told, and kept my mouth shut…
That is, until I started to develop my niche to serve speakers, authors, consultants, trainers and other expert-business owners with the help of my first client, who inspired the idea in the first place.
During that incubation period, I spent hours photographing a slew of test clients to develop my style behind the camera.
I also spent a considerable amount of time teaching myself how to position someone naturally in front of the camera, whether they’re directly addressing the lens, or engaging in another type of activity in front of the camera.
With the dating profile posing guidelines swirling in the back of my mind, I made an important decision:
I’m not doing the posing thing. I’ll let them pose themselves, and then ENHANCE their natural positioning and body language for the sake of flattery in front of the camera.
For example, let’s say that I’m photographing someone reading an email on their laptop while sitting at a desk.
Rather than give them step-by-step instructions on what to do with their hands, arms, face and overall posture, I set up the scenario by asking:
When sitting in front of your laptop while reading an email, what’s your posture in the chair look like? What are your arms doing? Are you leaning on one hand? Both hands under your chin? Are you holding a pen?
And then, once we capture this posture from a couple angles, I ask them to switch up their positioning in a way that feels natural to them.
In this case, while I’m offering subtle nudges and tweaks to how they’re positioned in front of the camera, the heavy lifting is done by them in a way that feels genuine and honest.
And that’s how it reads when looking back at the photos. I knew I had uncovered something important.
Shortly after I launched my branded lifestyle portrait business, I said goodbye to the dating portrait game.
Regardless, I’m grateful for the experience because it reinforced the need to NOT force folks in front of the camera to bend and twist in a way that felt unnatural to them.
This real-life lesson has become a fundamental principle in the way I conduct sessions today.
Working for a dating agency also taught me to not work for referral partners that took more than 50% of the cost of the session, too - but, you know, that’s another story for another time :)
Turning to you…
What’s one major experience from a past job or iteration of your business that helped inform the way you serve your people today? Please share in the comment section below.