"It's not you, it's me..."

When it comes to your portraits…

…everything in the image counts.

When I review photos after the client session, the conversations can get pretty interesting.

And by “interesting,” that means a lot of choice words clients say about themselves.

One of the more popular phrases I’ve heard during these conversations is this:

It's not that I don't like the quality of the picture, I just don’t like me in the photos.

Now, while I appreciate the “it’s not you, it’s me” sentiment of this statement, it’s completely unnecessary to feel the need to protect my emotions, or any other photographer's emotions,  during this process. 

Because it’s not about the photographer - it’s about you. 

It’s usually at this point that we stop the review and have a “talk-the-client-off-the-ledge” moment. 

It’s a chance for me to go a bit deeper and uncover what truly is bothering them about their appearance. 

And that’s when the truth reveals itself - and it’s sometimes tough to hear. 

But, for many clients, this proves to be a cathartic moment as, for the first time, they are challenged to actually face with someone else what bothers them most about the way they look and have an honest conversation about it. 

Now, does this mean that they immediately about-face on decades worth of self-image issues and suddenly love every photo they’ve taken?

Of course not. 

But it does allow for them to accept a professional image makers’ opinion as an outsider looking into their world to let them know that what they see in themselves isn’t necessarily what other people see.

Or even give a shit to look for in the first place. 

And that’s the key. 

If you’re feeling heavier than you’d like, yeah, the weight is there. 

If you see the wrinkles on your face, sure, they exist. 

If one eye is slightly smaller than the other, yup, it’s not an illusion. 

But the fact is that for people who need to hire you to help them solve their problem, they’re not looking to disqualify you as a potential hire because of the way you look. 

People are too wrapped up in their own shit to care how you feel about your appearance. 

They’re more interested in themselves, their problems, and they need to identify people to come in and tell them how to make the changes they desperately seek. 

And when you present high-quality, aesthetically pleasing, honest and compelling photos that position you as the authority in the space of expertise that directly relates to what they need right now, that’s what catches their eye. 

It’s about the sentiment of the image as a whole - not just the parts that hang you up and make you want to throw it in the trash. 

As a result, your photos are more about the way they connect you with those you serve, rather than a vanity project meant to feed your ego. 

So, the next time you sit down with a photographer to review and select the images that make it into your image portfolio, remember to change the lenses with which you view these photos. 

Put on the ones that see these photos from the perspective of your audience, and not your own. 

Sure, there will still be a slew of shots that are flagged as unflattering - the outfit isn’t fitting right, the lighting is a bit too shadowy, your body posture is slouched, your expression feels unnatural - and those will be discarded without issue.

But, it’s the other photos, the ones where everything is exactly where it needs to be to position you as the star of the frame… 

Those are the ones where you need to exhibit some grace to yourself and realize that everything in that image positions you exactly where you need to be and it will work hard to create attention from those who need you most. 

To learn more storytelling strategy for experts, including the types of photos and other visual content needed to position you as the authority in your space, sign up for my blog - I write about this stuff all the time :)