Turning a negative into a positive :)

While we engage in harmful behavior from time to time…

…sometimes that negative can be turned into a positive :)

For most of my time in high school, it was a bit of a rough go. 

Not because of grades, or an inability to make friends…

It was because of my weight and the amount of shit that came my way because I was the fat kid.

The first two years I was relentlessly teased by many upperclassmen - and teasing is putting it mildly. 

Verbally harassed and physically assaulted is a more apt description. It was the 90’s, after all.

Now, I wasn’t a tough guy and fighting off groups of kids simply wasn’t in the cards for me, so I was desperate to uncover a way to defend myself against the bullshit coming at me from all sides every single day.. 

So, I learned to use my words to protect me. 

Now, I didn’t use words to delicately negotiate myself out of a sticky situation. Instead, I used them to lean into the jokes and ridicule at my expense. 

Over time, I became well-versed in self-deprecating jokes. 

WELL-versed. 

To the point that I would be tagging other people’s digs at me with language that was worse then their words thrown at me in the first place. I developed a quick, sharp and biting tongue.

My thinking was that if I can make them laugh at my expense, they won’t kick my ass or harass me every single day. And guess what? It worked. 

As time past, and I now was an upperclassman, those threats were few and far between. That’s the good news. 

The bad news? 

My self-worth and esteem were completely in the toilet because the self-deprecating humor stuck with me and I believed it. 

For years. 

This constant barrage of negative self-talk helped contribute to a horribly negative outlook on life that ultimately ended up with me sitting in a therapists office - 3 different therapists offices, in fact. 

Well, that went the wrong way, didn’t it?

Fortunately, with a lot of help from a bunch of smart people, I was able to eliminate self-deprecating humor from my system over time. 

I realized the damage it was doing to my mindset, and I forced myself to put in the work to constantly challenge the negative self-talk that would pop up in my head from time-to-time.

And that wasn’t the only silver lining. 

While the quick-witted, sharp and biting commentary towards myself was eliminated, the ability to extemporaneously communicate through humor and timely commentary has come quite in handy while behind the camera while photographing experts.

And I don’t mean that I’m personally attacking the person in front of the camera as I did myself once upon a time. 

I’m using that skill set in a way that creates a fun and playful atmosphere which keeps the client out of their head and in the moment, which is essential for capturing a variety of honest expressions that span the emotional spectrum. 

By joking around and fostering a fun rapport that inspires my clients to react through their facial expression and body language, that creates more visual variety from shot-to-shot, thus increasing the value of their time in front of the camera. 

While the self-deprecating humor was, at first, a defense mechanism, it’s now leveraged as a tool to produce wonderful results during photo sessions.

It’s magical when you can transform a negative into a positive, isn’t it? :) 

How have you been able to turn a negative experience into an opportunity to positively affect those you serve? Please share in the comment section below.