Tying whether you feel good to an outcome can bite you in the ass.

 It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey.

A quote from Brant Menswar’s book, Black Sheep, is a great reminder of this lesson.

I’ve been an artist my entire life. 

I went to the High School of Art and Design in Manhattan for architecture and industrial design, and while there, I became accustomed to tying my emotional state to the reactions that my teachers and classmates had around the work I created. 

I sought validation from every single person that I came into contact with. 

Granted, that need was required to be filled based on my deep insecurities and lack of self confidence at the time, but regardless, I chased the chance for people to pat me on the back and say, “good job!” for every single assignment. 

And this constant search for validation laid the groundwork for a skewed perspective on what’s most important to me for decades. 

When I graduated with my MFA in television production and started my career, I began to notice that only finding joy in the work when people would positively acknowledge my effort or contribution to the team was problematic. 

The reason was because compliments were few and far between in that world. 

Senior producers didn’t care how difficult the work was to complete, they expected us to get everything in on time. This hectic schedule was the standard, not the exception. 

As a result, I lost a lot of the joy in the work I created, and the job became a real challenge. 

It took me several years and working on my own to reprogram how I found happiness in my work. 

Over that time, I realized that if I were to shift my perspective from seeking validation from others to finding a fulfillment based on the creation of the work, I wouldn’t set myself up for disappointment if I didn’t get a pat on the back from those I served. 

This was a game changer. 

Granted, I still greatly appreciate my clients sharing their deep appreciation for the work we created together. 

But…

If I get a simple, “thank you,” and the remainder of the balance for the session, I’m totally okay with that, because it means their expectations were met without issue. 

And that’s good enough for me. 

At the end of the day, I realize that the true joy for me lies in the fact that I make a living taking pictures. 

And there is immense satisfaction in meeting and exceeding the challenges and hiccups during a session to make it a success. 

So what more do I need, really? 

A 15-piece orchestra serenading me every time I do a good job?

Nah - the fulfillment truly is rooted in the process of creation, not the outcome. 

And that’s why this quote hangs on my apartment wall - it’s a great reminder of this very important lesson learned.