A lil' positive self-talk goes a long way, my friends, :)
Before you should all over yourself...
...leverage the power of positive self-talk to walk away from that mess!
Whenever I get a chance to attend a photography trade show, it’s always a wonderful opportunity to meet a slew of amazing people in the industry.
Brand ambassadors, vendors, as well as a ton of amazing photographers.
I really enjoy engaging fellow photographers because, regardless of their specialty and niche, we can talk on a level where we completely understand where the other is coming from.
It’s a similar sentiment that speakers feel when they attend the Influence Conference.
I appreciate these conversations so much because I don’t have the opportunity to have them very often - the inside jokes are always a hoot, :)
The other sides of these conversations are not so pretty, however.
What inevitably happens within these conversations is that we will share our information in order to keep the conversation going through social media.
So when I plug in their info and check out their work, I sometimes delve into comparison mode. Doesn’t matter if the work they do is even related to portraits, I find myself comparing.
At a recent photography expo, that’s exactly what happened.
I basically should’ed all over myself for 2 straight days.
I should work harder to make my sessions more valuable.
I should hire help to get better quality images.
I shouldn’t be talking to this photographer - I’m not in his/her league.
I should just go home - I don’t belong in this Expo.
Now, this type of self-talk is not new for me. I’m a decorated veteran when it comes to talking shit to myself at any given moment.
But honestly, it’s been a while since I’ve cut this deeply with the negative self-assessment when it comes to my work.
By the third day of the Expo, I was frustrated at the way that I allowed these negative thoughts to crap on the experience overall.
And that’s when I injected a little positive psychology into the mix in order to turn my frown upside down.
More specifically, it was time to call bullshit on these useless thoughts that didn’t serve me in any way, shape or form.
The moment that I felt a should pop into my head, I snapped into action to thwart the poo-poo‘ing attack.
Rather than countering these negative thoughts with their polar opposites like, “you’re the most amazing photographer ever!” I kept it real with myself.
I stopped the never-ending comparison game - a game that NO ONE ever wins.
I acknowledged in my mind that the work these other photographers create is amazing and beautiful, but no longer at the expense of my own work.
I put a halt to that crap by reminding myself that regardless of what other photographers are doing has zero bearing on the work that I do to serve the speaker, author and expert-based business owner communities.
I then followed this up by actually taking time to appreciate the level that I’ve taken my work over the past couple years, and how much I’ve grown behind the camera, and as a business, overall.
I also went through a gratitude list with respect to my work.
As I reflected on this idea, I felt grateful for my clients who appreciate the work we create together, grateful for the people who’ve helped me improve my work behind the camera, and grateful for believing in myself enough to build a photography business in the first place.
Fortunately, I snapped out of it as soon as I made it through that list.
And once I rid myself of my should’ing episode, I was back in the present moment, enjoying conversations with some amazing people, grateful for the opportunity to meet such a talented group of folks.
When you find yourself in a room of people who occupy your space of expertise, don’t allow your primitive, monkey brain to go haywire and allow you to should all over yourself.
Remember the value you offer those you serve and that there is an abundance of others who need your specialized attention.
Screw all the comparing bullshit - it’s an exercise in futility.
Focus on who you are, who you serve and why you do what you do and that’ll keep you engaged in the present moment with an opportunity to share and receive value from your fellow colleagues.
It’s a much more magical way to live, if you ask me, :)
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